When I don't like what you do!

When someone you love (your child, partner…) does something you don’t like, what do you do/think/say?

And what’s the result?

Curious to try another way?

Ask yourself :

1. What would I like this person do differently ?

AND

2. What would I like their reasons to be for doing it differently ?

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For instance, when my oldest daughter is pushing and hitting her brother:

1. I’d rather her to say what matters to her with words or drawing, for example

2. Not because she fears of punishment (or expects reward) from me,

but out of consideration, safety, care, trust…

So that her motivation comes from intrinsic human values rather external moralistic judgments of good and bad.

How does it sound to you?

Will you trial it on?

Let me know!